By Getchyer Yawyasout
Desert Rat News staff writer
The Yam Faced Buffoon Book Room, or “Yafa-Buffo-Boo-Roo,” will be located in a Dulles area strip mall, sandwiched between the Stormy's Dream gentlemen’s club and Rudy’s Secret adult toy boutique.
With precisely the same square-footage as the Wendy's across the street, Yafa-Buffo-Boo-Roo will be divided into three sections, the largest of which will be “Vladimir’s Favorite Russian Authors.”
The next most prominent section will be called “Unopened/Unread" and will house a number of works and documents donated to Trump during his reign of terror. To be auctioned off to help pay his mounting legal bills, works in this section include How To Win Friends and Influence People; Emotional Intelligence; The Holy Bible; the Constitution of the United States of America; and Lyrics to the Star-Spangled Banner.
The third section, called the “Permanently Marked Collection,” will allow visitors to thumb through several of the president’s coloring books, all of which were partially completed with a black Sharpie.
The new library also will have a gift shop, whose merchandise will be limited to surplus MAGA hats and the president’s forthcoming autobiography, Mein Coif: A Lifelong Struggle With My Hair.
The library also will feature a snack-bar serving the Chinese-trademarked “IvankaBurger,” which will occasionally have a tiny kishke inside it.
Eric Trump, the president’s son and Yafa-Buffo-Boo-Roo's chief historian, said in a press release that Dulles and Virginia were chosen for their historical significance.
“You may not know this, but the president is a big fan of Daniel Boone and the Alamo. However, Ohio was too far away, so we decided to put it here in Dulles since this is where Ted Cruz’s daddy shot JR.”
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