By Wile E. Peyote
Desert Rat News business editor
NEW YORK CITY – Amerika’s mayor, Rudy Giuliani, is set to open his own line of casual shirts in coming weeks, according to three sources on Wall
Street familiar with the deal.
Incorporated on the Caribbean island of Taxhavena, Giuliani's company will operate under the label "FukIt&TukIt," with shirts offered in three distinct styles -- "Reptile," "Rodent," and "Gotham Penguin."
Made from the fur of South Florida citrus rats, the shirts will be manufactured in a Leningrad factory by trolls laid off as a result of the better-than-anticipated success of the president's own social media accounts.
FukIt&TukIt appears to be an attempt by Giuliani to cash in on fame achieved last month in “Borat: Subsequent Moviefilm," in which the geriatric former mayor of New York City can be seen lying on a hotel room bed, his hand deep into his britches, in the presence of a 20-year-old woman posing as a TV reporter.
The once-respected but now deranged Giuliani said later that he was just tucking in his shirt.
“I assure you, that’s all that I was doing,” said Giuliani, who traces his Italian roots to the Gepetto family, from the medieval town of Collodi.
FukIt&TukIt, analysts say, is likely to go the same way as two other of Giuliani’s recent and notable failures, one as a foreign spy (Kremlin codename: “Rudolph the Brown-Nosed Asset”), and as a post-election legal strategist.
© 2020 The Desert Rat News
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