Desert Rat News staff writer
WASHINGTON – By executive order, President Trump today commanded that all American flags bear his name or image.
The edict came just hours after the one-term president learned from History Channel that the 250-year-old flag has several symbolic meanings, none of which has anything to do with him.
“I AM AMERIKA!” the lame duck tweeted. “The flag shoudl (sic) reflect THAT!!!”
Taking effect at midnight, the "My Amerikan Flag Is Awesome" (MAFIA) order requires that no less than 33 percent of the flag’s surface area be covered with Trump’s headshot and/or name. Slogans such as "Trump 2024" and "MAGA!" are optional.
Word of the order spread quickly as Trump loyalists rushed to obey, with U.S. Sycophantery of State Mike Pimpeo becoming the first to raise the "Trump-Splattered Banner."
As part of his pledge to have a police state firmly in place by Jan. 20, MAFIA also requires the flag’s colors to change from red-white-and-blue to black-white-and-blue, although splotches of orange will be allowed for the president's face and hair.
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